A couple of months ago I wrote a column entitled "10 Questions About the World Today". Amazingly, for only about the third time since I started writing for this site, I actually got some feedback. Okay, so it was from two of the other writers on this site, but still, it's a start. Taking a cue from ANOTHER writer on this site (who shall remain nameless), I decided to forego the effort of actually thinking up an original topic and print the answers from those other two writers. Kind of a "10 Answers About the World Today" (hence the title of the column!). Anyways, come along as B&A writers RBoyd and JKurn attempt to answer these 10 questions put before them in a previous column. (Then go read there stuff, it's good!) 1. When is the U.S. going to admit that Iraq is the new Vietnam? JK: Okay, I can't answer that one. RB: Each day more Americans are killed by an uncaring people, who didn't seem to worry about a mass murderer who ran the country and now we're there, they want us gone. Let's get the hell out of there. Some people will never know when they're well off. 2. Speaking of which, if Americans are still dying in Iraq, why is the big Stars and Stripe War machine now toying with the idea of invading Liberia and Iran? JK: Because they wanna kick everyone's asses before someone comes along and kicks theirs (again). I really think they should be watching out for an ass-whooping from CANADA! RB: We have to be 'big brother' so that we can continue to sell war munitions on one side, get deals with oil on the other, and in general interject our life style into someone else's culture. The U.S. has the poorest leadership, if you're not in business, that is, and the people still love him. I am even more scared of Chaney. 3. Why is there so much controversy about same-sex marriages? I mean, how is it inconveniencing ANYONE if two people of the same gender get married? JK: Why is there racism, prejudice, religious conficts, laws against drugs, laws for drugs, and lots of other stupid things that my brain can't think of at the moment? Because all these stupid ******* can't MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS! RB: There won't be any children, so why not? 4. Am I the only one worried more about North Korea than I am about Iraq? JK: Probably not, but you should check with Houli first. RB: No. It's like ignoring the biggest kid on the playground who has a ballbat, in order to chide the smallest and dumbest kid. At least, let's talk to these people. 5. How is it that everyone admits that even if Kobe Bryant gets off this sexual assault charge, he's still toast and that he'll still be a sex criminal in the eyes of the world? Whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty? JK: Okay, I can't answer that one. RB: Because we want to watch sexual matters and juicy stuff. Because the press & TV needs to get it's head straight and leave the poor bastard alone (all of them for gosh sakes) and not grind all these details into the the ground. So he screwed this girl, who may or may not be all right, this is really not news. We pay these generic giants such high praise, tons of money and adoration that they have no sense of right or wrong and we love them for it. (Look at the Bron James kid, 99 million and a Hummer.) It has gotten way out of hand. (How much health and food would 99 million buy? No one, I said no one is worth more than a million dollars, no matter what the deal!) 6. Come to think of it, how comes O.J. Simpson, declared innocent by a jury of his peers in the murder of his ex-wife, Nicole, is still considered a murderer by most people? And when did murder become a joke, as it has in his case? JK: Ever since religion became a joke. 10 Commandments? What a laugh! RB: He was declared guilty in the civil suit and ordered to pay a chunk to Nicole's estate, which was laughable because he never will. I can't say why it is considered a joke, other than our legal system, but people are too insensitive to other people. 7. Why are West Nile disease, mad cow disease and SARS being used as topics for late night comedians and yet AIDS, cancer and 9-11 aren't? Not saying any of those six topics are funny, just weird how some are considered "off-limits" and others are fair game. JK: Okay, I can't answer that one. RB: Because the latter have organizations and people connected to the various ailments, and the others don't. Have to get a group together for West Nile Mad Cows Sars or WNMCS. 8. How come these annoying pop-up ads are all about buying software to get rid of pop-up ads? If these companies cared so much about getting rid of pop-up ads, shouldn't they just stop producing them? JK: Okay, I can't answer that one. RB: Because you wouldn't buy them. 9. How am I supposed to take Rafael Palmiero seriously now that he's done viagra ads? JK: Okay, I can't answer that one. RB: Bet they paid him a ton of money too. We have some NASCAR drivers also doing those ads. Hell, if they offered me a few bucks, I'll do them! And I'm probably the only one of the bunch that needs them! 10. Is PETA serious with its campaign against KFC's use of chickens? I mean, other than laying eggs, what purpose do chickens serve EXCEPT becoming FOOD? What's next, going after McDonalds for abusing cows? JK: See #3. RB: Power corrupts. And absolute power corrupts absolutely. Because they can. Incidentally, they have accused MickeyD's of that.
William E. Tracey