Redemption Thy Game is Sticks
Saturday, May 24
by Dope Manyhits XVI
Ryan and Ravi's ghosts on base, one out, bottom of the tenth, Ravi's squadron trailing Aram's by a measly, itsy-bitsy, bono-rhapsodized one run. Up to the plate stepped a newly rejuvenated bryman, who promptly lifted aram's offering the other way to right field. "Aggghurrrgh! Great piece of hitting!" gurgled Keith Hernandez, as Aram insolently trudged off the mound. As he approached the dugout he did not see a celebration so he turned in time to see the ball now safely in Emily's hands. Redemption, thy game is sticks, for it had been a Bryan double which he extended into a triple when Emily had been unable to track down the ball in left that had tied the game in the bottom of the ninth. Victory, however unlikely it had seemed just a few innings before, now rested with Rambo, drawing second blood in what is quickly becoming the feud of the year.
Equally important is Ravi's reemergence as a decent pitcher, worthy of sitting at the Algonquin Table of Averageness alongside Dice and Aram, forever fated to sip from goblets of not-so-greatness as they watch Biz, Bryman and Ryan exchange heaters in the heavens above.
Game 2 started off planned for five innings with the promise of 20 more considering the stud beef on the mound and the flaccid bats at the plate. In the third, deadlocked at 0-0, bizman remarked that only a mistake would win the game for either side. Biztradamuz, he took adavantage of an error that put ryan on base ahead of him and smoked a bazong that scattered many a handball player. But which mistake did Biztradamuz mean? Aram, offered his own shot at redemption for a season of defendive ineptitude in the bottom of the fifth, well, to paraphrase Robert De Niro admonishing Sly Stallone in Copland, he blew it! Biz trying to close the game out in the bottom of the fifth, up 2-0, needing only to minimize the damage from ravi and bryan leading off before getting to dice and emily, he induced ravi into a weak grounder which aram shamefully allowed to roll through his tree trunks "Behind the baggets through Goomzin" somewhat excitedly intones Vin Scully. Next up came bryman, as he so often does around this time, came through in the clutch against biz with a shot to dead center. In the bottom of the sixth with runners on first and second, Ravi smoked a ball to left center that caromed off the fence, invoking the spirit of Robin Ventura he only touched first to seal the win.
Almost everything came up Ravi today as he made a catch for the ages, robbing Emily of a double as he snared her drive out of mid-air with only his left hand. The catch was of such awesome stupendedness that it caused Bryan to opine that it was the greatest catch of the last 5 years. Ryan, to the shock and awe of no one, disagreed. After several moments thought he came up with his own epic catch against the Schoolhouse's baby tree during The Greatest Game Ever Pitched between Bryan and Sam. The two sides agreed to disagree with rampant rumors of a game of a-hole to clear things up.